“The roles we play in each other's lives are only as powerful as the trust and connection between us.”
— Oprah

Liberation... through shining

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our

deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our

light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small

does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about

shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. We

are all meant to shine as children do. Its not just in some of us;

it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we

unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we

are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically

liberates others.

               ~Nelson Mandela~

"Adoption is not about finding children for families, its about finding families for children."

                                              ~ Joyce Maguire Pavao ~ 

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship."

                                                     ~ Helen Keller ~

True Love

"If I'm in heaven and your not there, I'd carve your name in golden chairs, for all the angels there to see, that I love you and you love me. If your not there on judgement day, I'll know that you've gone the other way, so just to prove our love is true. I'd go to hell to be with you."

                                                                                           ~Jackie Paul~

Momfidence...

This is from the book Momfidence: An Oreo Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happier Parenting written by Paula Spencer.

Momfidence is... 

• the bungee jump, the sky dive, the step off the cliff, the leap of faith- whose only real risk is not death but temporary insanity. 
• using "perfect" only to describe such wonders as a ripe peach, a cloudless day at the beach, a husband who does diapers and dinner. Its use in describing children is limited to how they look and how they hug, which are always perfect. It has no application whatsoever in describing motherhood. 
• Dr. Spock's famous opener: "Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." But it's also just skimming - or skipping- the 647 pages that follow. 
• raising your child freehand, rather then with a paint-by-numbers kit. To paraphrase Lucy van Pelt of Peanuts: " The expert is Within."
• taking one look at your child lying listlessly on the sofa- not clambering over its cushions, not pinching his sisters, not filching Fritos from the cupboard- and knowing he\s really sick, even before you rest your palm over his burning forehead to check for fever. 
• the confidence that comes from knowing everybody else is pretty much winging it, too. 
• recognizing that you are mothering a moving target. By the time you get one stage down pat, your child is already ten steps ahead of you. Being a quick study beats being an exhaustively thorough one. 
• buying cups, straws, washcloths, and toothbrushes in a different colour for every kid because, of course, no rugged individual wants red if her sister already has it. 
• loving the one you're with. 
• making a list of all the things that aren't your job: Keeper of everybody's Happiness. Chief Entertainment Programmer. Homework Corrector. Homework Doer. First Responder to Every Call for Help at School or Place of Worship. Science Night Participant (that would be your child; you are the supply purchaser and project transporter). 
• displaying a clay stegosaurus and many drawings of happy, heart- festooned stick people in your workspace- no matter what your profession or level.
• venting about how "doing it all" is one of the dopier cliche goals leftover from the 1980's. Doing the best you can while trying to do as much as you really truly need to is the best anybody can hope for. 
• means knowing the difference between a nonnegotiable precaution (seat belts, vaccinations, constant pool supervision) and a laughable one (Thudguard, the stylish new hat made for "toddling on hard surfaces.") 
• worrying that your child will crack his femur in two on his skateboard- but letting him go to the new skate park anyway. 
• sticking to cute cotton pj's not only because the flame- retardant kind if stiff and scratchy, but because you feel perfectly confident that your little ones will not smoke in bed. 
• having little faith in numbers. Number of kidnap victims abducted by family members: more then 75%. Number of children kidnapped in 1997 by nonfamily members, 115. Number of children under age 18 in the United States: more than 72 million.
• Number of tots who drown in toilets each year: 30. Total number of toilets:???
• packing Fritos and Little Debbie Snack Cakes in the ol' lunch box every once in a while... just becuase. 
• being a good role model and eating lots of fruits and veggies and protein yourself without making a big deal about it- which would be the sure kiss of death that would make no child inclined to follow. 
• bringing the fake juice you bought on sale when it's your turn for snack day instead of the 100% juice suggested because you don't have time to make a special trip to the store so that twenty two 5 year olds can sip six ounces of natural sugar water instead of six ounces of fake sugar water. 
• choosing to spend your mealtime energy on really inportant things, like noticing who's kicking whom under the table during the blessing. 
• reading home-decorating magazines for the entertainment value, becuase you have no delusions about changing your style from "early lived in" any time soon- at least not before you can walk through a room without picking up five stray socks, a granola bar wrapper, six books, many shoes, an impressive toy assortment, all the throw pillows that used to be on the sofa, and a pair of underwear. 
• being open to improvement, however. I swear I'm going to crack down on Cheez Doodles in the den or redecorate the room to better coordinate with those orange- stained throw pillows. 
• directing the barber to give the boy a buzz even when the prevailing style is a mohawk or mullet or Woodstock redux becuase a buzz is low maintenance and you're the one who has to look at it. 
• moving promptly to wash off ballpoint- pen tattoos, chocolate pudding traces, and unidentifiable substances in the hair, at least before birthday party, church service, or grandparent visit. 

More to be continued at a later date. 

Scars

"Scars. They remind us of where we have been, but they don't have to dictate where we will go."

- Anonymous